


i'm the illegal restaurant, mcwhoraldz

by BibleGhoul



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF, RuPaul's Drag Race UK RPF
Genre: A'Whora owns a maccies and is shit at it, Ellie tries to get a job at maccies and fails lmao, Lawrence just wants some scran, Other, she turns ppl into seagulls and shite x
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BibleGhoul/pseuds/BibleGhoul
Summary: After realising she has no money to afford groceries from tescos, Ellie Diamond sets upon getting a job with the help of her friend Lawrence Chaney. The only problem is...Maccies is for skets
Relationships: A'Whora/Tayce (Drag Race), Ellie Diamond/Chips, Lawrence Chaney/Chips
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	i'm the illegal restaurant, mcwhoraldz

Two SLAHGS were at deh park gettin absolutely fockin wasted with a bottle of WKD and a tub of celebrations (fuckin class that is <3). Ellie wuz rumaging in the tub for a long periodically time, “oh found it, i wa’ lookin for the garamel calaxy”. Lawrence stopped smonking a fat doink to look at her pal, eleanor elizabeth rhinestone aka big d(eez nutz), “are yu stuphad?? are u FIKK AS PHUC???” she hollered before mollywhopping Ellie into next week.

It is next week. Precisely march 17th. Ellie BONKZ into the fresh produce cucumber isle (😏), in her gay little hand uwu is a grocery list but unfortunately Ellie cannot read. Ellie failed her GCSE’s 5 years ago which means that…

Oh fuck

she haz no money.

“oh fuck i got no monay.” she said scottishly. How tah fuk waz she gonna get groceries when she had no monems??? “Guess i gotta git a job oar summat.” Ellie whipped out her vintage y2k hippie boho deadstock chic nokia brick and brrrrRRRRANged her bezzie m8 Lawrence Channers, it went beep bo beepy bep boop bop until Lawrence answered. “Awlright luv ‘ows it going?”, ellie went :D “I need ta get a job cauz i got no fuckin money fo’ big teschcos innit”. 

Suddenly a big BANG (not the tv show cuz that was totally shit x) occurred, Ellie gaysped and cracked her neck around to see Lawrence had shurmashed the tescos glass, crash landed by the trolleys and killed like 2 or 3 employees (but thats unimportant ofc). Lawrence spotted the lanky legged BINCH with her scotvision and grinned “Get in u long legged freak, im gonnae get u a job”.

She did a twisty 360º pussy poppin hooterin hollerin big chungus gay slip n slide flip into the car. By this time, security were alerted but they were 2 late cuz they already left + took more bottles of WKD with them. The slags NYOOOOOmed down the highway until they smashed into another car, Ellie went flying out the front and smashed her head, Lawrence was fine bc until eleanor beleanor the silly goose she had put on her seatbelt like a good driver. “That was a bit anal…” 

“IM BLEEDING”

“Yeah we all get like that hun”

“NO MY HEAD IS BLEEDING” 

Lawrence huffeefefed. Like this HHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhggfffff (yeah i know how the diaphragm works ;0). “Stop being a gay little sabotaging bETCH AND GET IN THE FOCKIN MACCIES U PRICK.” she shouted. Ellie laid there for 3 seconds before her lanky legs started working again, her spine may had some irreparable damage tho lmao. 

Ellie wombled into the maccies. It was unusually empty cuz a sharon and her fat fucking ham of a husband would be here rn. Dykely she stompled over to the counter, she quickly regretted not retrieving her CV though to be honest she never had one cause fuk skool innit. “Heugh 😩” Ellie scremched. 

A long blonde woman came out, she looked like a whore, “hello im a’whora, wehlcom to mcwhoraldz (REFERENCE??? :O!!)” 

Ellie pissed herself from fear. A’Whora went >:(((( GRRRRRR and throttled the little sket. “DONT FUCKIN PESH URSELF IN MY FUCKIN ESTABLISHMENT YOU ABSOLUTE HOUND (derogatory).” Ellie cried and scried and weebed- i mean weeped (idk if she is a ouib). “Am soarry luv, i jus wannae job to afford a £3 tessacos meehl deehl darl x” she explained, A’Whora seemed kinda upsetteded.

A’Whora stepped back and back (cause yk shes a tall bitch) and hmmm’d. “Hmmm”. She gaysped and said “lmao come to the back i definately wont turn u into a seagull huehuehuehue”.

And then they went into the back 😏…

...SO A’WHORA COULD TURN HER INTO A CHIPPY STEALING FLYING BASTARD ALSO KNOWN AS A SEAGULL.

“CAW CAW WHAT THE FUX???” she SQUAKED. 

A’Whore grinned with her plumP lipz, “Itz simple hun, ur a cheeky little seagull who go ‘cae cae gimme ur chippo ya wanker’ while i sell dem yummy scummy chippies that u cant get those furry graspers on.” A’Whora frew Ellie out tha window and shutted the door so she can get back to doing lesbianisms with the welsh™ babe named taycetaycetaycetaycetayceTAYCE.

Unfortunately, Ellie was as shit as flying as she was reading cuz her wings broke. Now she jus looks like a twat flapping her arms up n down. Luckily for her lawrence was still around, she had a bag of chips in her hands that looked absolutely scrumpydedumptious to monch on. 

“CAW CAW CAW”

Lawrence looked up from her scran, “aw fuck its a fuckin seagull”, she threw a chippy at the winged twat but quickly regretted it when it started CAW CAWing louder. “SHUT THE FOCK UP M8, IM TRYNA EAT ME SCRAN U WINGED FREAK.”

A’Whora bUSSED out the McWhoraldz with a large purple dildo from amazon in her hand. “Why tha fuck are u shouting girlie??? Im tryna do… things to my gf and legally married galpal Taycety T” She yelled with the dildo still in hand.

Lawrence flipped her off as she was trying to defend herself from the now hungry seagull bastard, “Go shag an onion u limp wristed fuck, ya dad sells avon, this bastards gonnae monch me fuckin scran and it’ll be yoos fault u SLAG >:(“. A’Whora was having none of that shet and threw the dildo at Lawrence Chazza, unfortunately it didnt hit Lawrence but fortunately it did hit Ellie the furry chip chomper. Lawrence was in awe(rence) “oh me god yoos jus save me life, how cannae ever repay ya?”

Before either of them could finish the conversation the whole place BLEW UP cause a certain whore forgot to check on the fryers and now they’re all deaded.

And the moral of the story is…

Go to school, mcdonalds is kinda shit sometimes, the scots should’ve gained independence years ago and never use a seagull as a fursona.

The end :)


End file.
